Rough Week

What a rough week! I had Monday off because Isaac's post-op appointment occurred that day (which I will address in a future post). But it's Friday night and I just feel defeated, worn out and unsettled.

Maybe some of you mom's who work can understand the torn feelings. I love being with my kids. I don't always feel like I'm the best person for the job and some of my stay-at-home mom friends feel the same way. But because of decisions we've made, here we are. Quite honestly, things changed when Isaac was injured as far as my working was concerned. I don't want to leave this child's side. But isn't that what life is all about? Leaving your child's side? Giving them their own independence? Wait. Stop. But these are the GOLDEN YEARS. Laying down the foundation for your children, who they're going to be, etc. I get it!

But here I am and so I do.

I returned to work on Tuesday and it was hard. Setting the alarm for 5:30 A.M., getting the kids dressed, separating at daycare....all so hard. Then I get to work and I forget how much of my brain my job required. I'm an accountant, I have to think all day long, produce reports and process information all day long. It's draining. Can't I go back to the kid level again?......

So I'm struggling to get back into the groove and it's hard, but possible. So I start grooving. Grooving is second nature to me.

Thursday rolls around and it screws everything up. My boss gets let go. It's done in a bizarre fashion with security and us being hid in a meeting and everything. It is surreal. And it takes a lot to process, figuring out the plan in a state of shock, planning for the future. But the day goes on.....

Friday rolls around and not so good. I'm sad for my boss. I'm sad because I really liked her and for lots of reasons. No one is perfect but she was really great. And genuinely I would love to have this woman as my friend. So it sucked.

But tonight was awesome. We went to a friends house with another couple, kids all the same age, had great conversation and the kids had a great time. So now it's time to unwind, regroup, and live in the moment.

Although this week has been tough, it seems like a daily ritual. Unwind, regroup, and live in the moment.