Anxious

I've decided to turn back to the tried and true way for me to communicate some of the feelings/emotions that bubble over when I have something stressful going on in my life. I will be using this blog to keep friends and family up-to-date and to process what's going on with my mom.

Currently, mom has Stage IV Triple-Negative Breast Cancer. The cancer has spread to her liver, peritoneal cavity, some spots on her bones and most recently, a spot on her brain. This is a recurrence of her previous bout back in 2010 - 2011. She has been fighting this recurrence since March 2013 - just after Gunnar was born. Her liver has been the area of most concern as it continues to spread and many of the spots have come together to make larger masses. More recently, my mom has been having some confusion - well she kinda loses her train of thought. Mid-sentence - it's gone. We thought it could be "chemo brain" which isn't an actual condition but just a potential side effect of being on that crap for too long. She's not stopped since she was re diagnosed. Anyway, they scanned her brain and there was a tumor. They did radiation about a month ago but she's still experiencing quite a bit of forgetfulness.

In the last couple of weeks, mom is experiencing a lot of issues. Her hip/back have really been bothering her. Let me rephrase that - they hurt - and it's not going away. She is having difficulty mustering up any energy, both physically and mentally. Most know that my mom, up until recently, is a very active lady! A hard worker, exercises every day, very mentally engaging - all of these things. Well she's just lost a lot of that - and it's happened very quickly. (*insert prayer request here).

Yesterday she had three scans. Her brain, her chest (took look at her liver/lungs/etc.) and her back. We are wondering if the pain her her back (which is now way worse than the hip) is a result of the cancer spreading in her bones. Originally, we thought it may have been because she did some yard work a couple of weeks ago but as time moves forward and her pain is staying the same and maybe getting a little worse, it has us all very worried.

After her scans, my parents, Justin, Lyndon and I all met and enjoyed a memorable evening (adults only!) in downtown Seattle going out for dinner and seeing Book of Mormon at the Paramount. It was a lot of fun. Here are a few pics from our evening!

So today we are all a bit anxious awaiting the call from her doctor with her scan results. Today we will just get the results of the chest and back - she has an appointment on Monday regarding the brain (which she seems to be most anxious about).

Please keep mom and all of us in your thoughts and prayers! This is a very emotional time for us all right now. However, we feel so fortunate to have each other!!

Will keep you updated.

30 Days of Thankfulness!

Gonna do it. But not on Facebook. Too many eyes!!!

On this FIRST day of thankfulness....

I am thankful for my supportive husband. Lyndon is the most selfless husband I know. He's always putting our family first. He realizes what we need, what we want, and how we want to get there and he does his best to make it happen. He sacrifices so much and always steps up to the plate so I can get to the gym. That's been a big priority for me lately. I just feel so much better when I get a workout in. He makes it happen. I know there are so many husbands out there who don't step up to watch the kids, make dinner, pick up the kitchen, etc. He's so good in these areas. We have such a wonderful team. I am so thankful for him!

Long overdue update

What's going on?? I'm feeling a little more creative and mouthy these days so guess it's time to blog a little!

1) Leaving Friday - on a jet plane - New Orleans/Jamaica/Grand Cayman/Mexico. Jealous? After this crazy Washington weather - ready for some sun!!!

2) Still working too much. 40 hours for the state - and my beloved Zumba job.

3) 2011 #1 instructor at the Valley Athletic Club = moi. Hello!!! Very proud - and surprised because I'm not a hard body like the rest of the instructors there. They are all super fabulous and I wish my body looked a little more like theirs - it's obvious that a body is NOT what brings in the peeps. It's about heart, energy, smile and attitude. No doubt.

4) Paid off both cars now. BIG Dave Ramsey advocate. Have faltered slightly in the last few months - boat purchase, previously mentioned vacation purchase - however - no car payments!! :)

5) Mom is doing fabulous. Cancer free - getting checked every 3 months! Love living in every moment.

6) The kiddos are awesome. My heart for them grows bigger and bigger every day.

7) Considering buying a home here in Olympia. However - Lyndon is not done with school and I don't want to work here at the State forever. BUT I love my Zumba/Valley job so not sure I can ever give that up. I could - but it's not the right time yet. Maybe once he finishes school, we could find something else. But really....we have great people here.

Nothing else to share. Will get back to posting some more pictures soon. Maybe after the vaca??

Love to anyone to still checks in on us. I will talk about Isaac and his progress/where he's at soon. I honestly don't love to talk about it much anymore. Causes too much anxiety.

XO
Rebecca

One of my biggest fears

Today (and for awhile now) I keep thinking I may be making decisions in my life that I later will regret. Random thought, I know....although not totally random. Check out this link where a nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed.

Job, location, time with kids..... realizing money isn't the most important think but it sure makes things more manageable. I know pretty soon I'm going to have to make a big step towards happiness.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my family, my marriage, etc. We are happy and healthy. That by far is the most important thing. I'm talking about the outside extremeties of that......I want it all.

Blogging at work (from my iPhone) is probably not a great way to spend my time but just had to get it out there! I think I might need a Life Coach. Isn't that what people do these days?? Or some might suggest I find my way back to church. . . .

Vacation Countdown!

We are on the short countdown to our first vacation in a VERY long time! Since we moved back to Washington, we have taken a day here or there but most of our vacation/leave time has been consumed by Isaac's accident and surgery. Finally we have accumulated enough to take some much needed R&R. Our family and my parents are headed to Lake Chelan for a week. Can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this. Hoping it renews and refreshes my spirit and my love for Washington. We are bringing the boat, the tubes and the fishing poles! I promise there will be pictures!!

Good News about my mom!

Yesterday my mom was tested - first time since her breast cancer diagnosis back in September. All tests came out clear. She and I had dinner downtown last night and she ordered a celebratory dry martini. Her first drink since September!

So for another three months, we can breathe easily!

Restless

That's it - I confess. I'm completely restless! For six years, I couldn't wait to find a home base and settle down. Well here we are, here we have the capability of settling down, making the Pacific NW our permanent home but now all I can think about is the next adventure.

In a way I'm disappointed in myself that I just can't be happy where I am, but then I'm happy that I have dreams and set my sights on bigger things. I'm thankful my family (mom and dad) gave me both roots and wings. There is a huge world out there and I have loved experiencing so much of it so far. Just not sure I'm quite done yet.

I definitely miss the south - mostly the weather. We were so active there. And I do miss my stay-at-home mom roll just a little bit as well. Are there greener pastures elsewhere?

So stay tuned. I'm getting antsy.