I dream about my mom fairly often - they are usually very similar.
She somehow comes back to life and I am very surprised about that. But then I'm happy and we have an event, or do something - just her and I. But then I realize that she is very very sick. Very very sick looking and doesn't feel well. At some point I'm startled awake and there is no resolution.
Last night she was alive and we were on a cruise from Greece to Croatia (I really want to visit Croatia). She and I were together but she was oh so so thin. Even thinner than she was in the last few days of her life - skeletal. And she was sitting there popping oxy like they were candy. She just couldn't get to feeling well. People on the boat were staring and talking. I told each one of them to leave us alone and that we could hear them. These two bitchy older ladies behind us were the worst.
Then it ended. No ending. No hugging, tears, or words. It was sad.
I really hope that some day I dream of my mom when she was healthy. It's still somehow hard to get past that last week. Will I always remember her like that? I really really hope not. What are my dreams telling me? Are they reminding me that she was so sick and is in a better place? Free of pain? It's kind of torture.
I want to remember my larger than life mom who always offered up great conversation. I could talk to her for hours. I want to dream about our times together and when I was a kid. I want to picture her playing with my kids - ring around the rosey, red rover - she was always so fun when we had a bunch of little ones together. Endless energy!!
Missing her so much!!
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Friday, December 26, 2014
Christmas Blues
This year definitely wasn't as jubilant for us this Christmas. But we made it.
My mom was with us, I could feel it. But I sure missed talking to her and doing what has been our normal routine these past few years. Justin and I planned the meal, incorporating some of my mom's favorite dishes. Lyndon and I did the cooking and my dad and Justin played with the kids (Christmas Eve). Christmas day we were joined by Lyndon's parents and Justin's girlfriend came as well - so a little more conversation but there was just an overall feeling of sadness I felt. I could have laid in bed all day and skipped this year - but we have to keep going. I get it.
I missed her most on Christmas morning. She was always up early with the kids and she just loved to talk, and chat and play. It was extra quiet this year - even with my three little ones. She always brought this happiness and made the work in the kitchen and around the house fun because we'd just chat our way through it.
Contrary to my nightmare the other night, I didn't totally botch her Cranberry Cake (best dessert EVER).
I do want to say that my Dad has been a total rockstar Grandpa and has really stepped up to the plate as far as things my mom used to do - and that they used to do together. This fall he came to almost every single one of Sydney's volleyball games. He comes down almost every weekend and just hangs out with us, we go to the game, have a meal, watch the Seahawks play or whatever. He even rescued me one day when I had an important meeting and Sydney was sick. He drove all the way down here and stayed with her while I went in to work. He's pretty fantastic. We love him so much and my mom's love for him was amazing to say the least.
I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas celebrations. I know this first one with her gone was probably the hardest for us and I trust they will get easier with time.
My mom was with us, I could feel it. But I sure missed talking to her and doing what has been our normal routine these past few years. Justin and I planned the meal, incorporating some of my mom's favorite dishes. Lyndon and I did the cooking and my dad and Justin played with the kids (Christmas Eve). Christmas day we were joined by Lyndon's parents and Justin's girlfriend came as well - so a little more conversation but there was just an overall feeling of sadness I felt. I could have laid in bed all day and skipped this year - but we have to keep going. I get it.
I missed her most on Christmas morning. She was always up early with the kids and she just loved to talk, and chat and play. It was extra quiet this year - even with my three little ones. She always brought this happiness and made the work in the kitchen and around the house fun because we'd just chat our way through it.
Contrary to my nightmare the other night, I didn't totally botch her Cranberry Cake (best dessert EVER).
I do want to say that my Dad has been a total rockstar Grandpa and has really stepped up to the plate as far as things my mom used to do - and that they used to do together. This fall he came to almost every single one of Sydney's volleyball games. He comes down almost every weekend and just hangs out with us, we go to the game, have a meal, watch the Seahawks play or whatever. He even rescued me one day when I had an important meeting and Sydney was sick. He drove all the way down here and stayed with her while I went in to work. He's pretty fantastic. We love him so much and my mom's love for him was amazing to say the least.
I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas celebrations. I know this first one with her gone was probably the hardest for us and I trust they will get easier with time.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Big Huge Hole
Pretty amazing that just two months ago we had some "good" scan results. Mom passed away about a month after that. Crazy. It's crazy how fast she declined. But I'm not going to focus on those last few weeks/months because they were so so hard.
I miss her!!! I miss her like crazy. Every. Single. Day. I think about her multiple times per day. Today has been the hardest day in quite awhile. Not sure why. I'm not feeling well (head cold) and this morning when I went to drive to work I almost dialed her phone. Of course then I was hit with a ton of bricks.
I'm devastated and struggling to hold it together. I always told my husband (before she died) that I was afraid I'd lose my shit once it happens. I feel on the edge. Especially today. I am so sad. Very very sad. And angry too. My mom was such a great mom and such a great person. I love her so much!!
I miss her!!! I miss her like crazy. Every. Single. Day. I think about her multiple times per day. Today has been the hardest day in quite awhile. Not sure why. I'm not feeling well (head cold) and this morning when I went to drive to work I almost dialed her phone. Of course then I was hit with a ton of bricks.
I'm devastated and struggling to hold it together. I always told my husband (before she died) that I was afraid I'd lose my shit once it happens. I feel on the edge. Especially today. I am so sad. Very very sad. And angry too. My mom was such a great mom and such a great person. I love her so much!!
She was the best grandma and I'm sad that Gunnar won't remember her much. But I promise I will always talk about her and always show pictures. Life just isn't all that fair sometimes, is it??
Mom, I love you!!! I wish you were here. Life just isn't the same without you. Dang it!
Monday, August 11, 2014
Scan Results
We were surprised by the results of my mom's scans last week. Stable! No progression of the cancer. What a relief! Apparently she has a cracked vertebrae which is probably what has been causing all the pain in her back. Also, her brain tumor gone as a result of the radiation. So pleased at this good news!
We all had a good weekend. Lyndon went up to Puyallup on Saturday to help my cousins Jon/Joel with some good ol BBQ'ing. This is an overnight process and he came home last night. The kids and I headed to the pool and had a nice time getting cooked by the sun. Can't believe this beautiful WA summer!
We all had a good weekend. Lyndon went up to Puyallup on Saturday to help my cousins Jon/Joel with some good ol BBQ'ing. This is an overnight process and he came home last night. The kids and I headed to the pool and had a nice time getting cooked by the sun. Can't believe this beautiful WA summer!
Friday, August 8, 2014
Anxious
I've decided to turn back to the tried and true way for me to communicate some of the feelings/emotions that bubble over when I have something stressful going on in my life. I will be using this blog to keep friends and family up-to-date and to process what's going on with my mom.
Currently, mom has Stage IV Triple-Negative Breast Cancer. The cancer has spread to her liver, peritoneal cavity, some spots on her bones and most recently, a spot on her brain. This is a recurrence of her previous bout back in 2010 - 2011. She has been fighting this recurrence since March 2013 - just after Gunnar was born. Her liver has been the area of most concern as it continues to spread and many of the spots have come together to make larger masses. More recently, my mom has been having some confusion - well she kinda loses her train of thought. Mid-sentence - it's gone. We thought it could be "chemo brain" which isn't an actual condition but just a potential side effect of being on that crap for too long. She's not stopped since she was re diagnosed. Anyway, they scanned her brain and there was a tumor. They did radiation about a month ago but she's still experiencing quite a bit of forgetfulness.
In the last couple of weeks, mom is experiencing a lot of issues. Her hip/back have really been bothering her. Let me rephrase that - they hurt - and it's not going away. She is having difficulty mustering up any energy, both physically and mentally. Most know that my mom, up until recently, is a very active lady! A hard worker, exercises every day, very mentally engaging - all of these things. Well she's just lost a lot of that - and it's happened very quickly. (*insert prayer request here).
Yesterday she had three scans. Her brain, her chest (took look at her liver/lungs/etc.) and her back. We are wondering if the pain her her back (which is now way worse than the hip) is a result of the cancer spreading in her bones. Originally, we thought it may have been because she did some yard work a couple of weeks ago but as time moves forward and her pain is staying the same and maybe getting a little worse, it has us all very worried.
After her scans, my parents, Justin, Lyndon and I all met and enjoyed a memorable evening (adults only!) in downtown Seattle going out for dinner and seeing Book of Mormon at the Paramount. It was a lot of fun. Here are a few pics from our evening!
So today we are all a bit anxious awaiting the call from her doctor with her scan results. Today we will just get the results of the chest and back - she has an appointment on Monday regarding the brain (which she seems to be most anxious about).
Please keep mom and all of us in your thoughts and prayers! This is a very emotional time for us all right now. However, we feel so fortunate to have each other!!
Will keep you updated.
Currently, mom has Stage IV Triple-Negative Breast Cancer. The cancer has spread to her liver, peritoneal cavity, some spots on her bones and most recently, a spot on her brain. This is a recurrence of her previous bout back in 2010 - 2011. She has been fighting this recurrence since March 2013 - just after Gunnar was born. Her liver has been the area of most concern as it continues to spread and many of the spots have come together to make larger masses. More recently, my mom has been having some confusion - well she kinda loses her train of thought. Mid-sentence - it's gone. We thought it could be "chemo brain" which isn't an actual condition but just a potential side effect of being on that crap for too long. She's not stopped since she was re diagnosed. Anyway, they scanned her brain and there was a tumor. They did radiation about a month ago but she's still experiencing quite a bit of forgetfulness.
In the last couple of weeks, mom is experiencing a lot of issues. Her hip/back have really been bothering her. Let me rephrase that - they hurt - and it's not going away. She is having difficulty mustering up any energy, both physically and mentally. Most know that my mom, up until recently, is a very active lady! A hard worker, exercises every day, very mentally engaging - all of these things. Well she's just lost a lot of that - and it's happened very quickly. (*insert prayer request here).
Yesterday she had three scans. Her brain, her chest (took look at her liver/lungs/etc.) and her back. We are wondering if the pain her her back (which is now way worse than the hip) is a result of the cancer spreading in her bones. Originally, we thought it may have been because she did some yard work a couple of weeks ago but as time moves forward and her pain is staying the same and maybe getting a little worse, it has us all very worried.
After her scans, my parents, Justin, Lyndon and I all met and enjoyed a memorable evening (adults only!) in downtown Seattle going out for dinner and seeing Book of Mormon at the Paramount. It was a lot of fun. Here are a few pics from our evening!
So today we are all a bit anxious awaiting the call from her doctor with her scan results. Today we will just get the results of the chest and back - she has an appointment on Monday regarding the brain (which she seems to be most anxious about).
Please keep mom and all of us in your thoughts and prayers! This is a very emotional time for us all right now. However, we feel so fortunate to have each other!!
Will keep you updated.
Friday, November 1, 2013
30 Days of Thankfulness!
Gonna do it. But not on Facebook. Too many eyes!!!
On this FIRST day of thankfulness....
I am thankful for my supportive husband. Lyndon is the most selfless husband I know. He's always putting our family first. He realizes what we need, what we want, and how we want to get there and he does his best to make it happen. He sacrifices so much and always steps up to the plate so I can get to the gym. That's been a big priority for me lately. I just feel so much better when I get a workout in. He makes it happen. I know there are so many husbands out there who don't step up to watch the kids, make dinner, pick up the kitchen, etc. He's so good in these areas. We have such a wonderful team. I am so thankful for him!
On this FIRST day of thankfulness....
I am thankful for my supportive husband. Lyndon is the most selfless husband I know. He's always putting our family first. He realizes what we need, what we want, and how we want to get there and he does his best to make it happen. He sacrifices so much and always steps up to the plate so I can get to the gym. That's been a big priority for me lately. I just feel so much better when I get a workout in. He makes it happen. I know there are so many husbands out there who don't step up to watch the kids, make dinner, pick up the kitchen, etc. He's so good in these areas. We have such a wonderful team. I am so thankful for him!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Long overdue update
What's going on?? I'm feeling a little more creative and mouthy these days so guess it's time to blog a little!
1) Leaving Friday - on a jet plane - New Orleans/Jamaica/Grand Cayman/Mexico. Jealous? After this crazy Washington weather - ready for some sun!!!
2) Still working too much. 40 hours for the state - and my beloved Zumba job.
3) 2011 #1 instructor at the Valley Athletic Club = moi. Hello!!! Very proud - and surprised because I'm not a hard body like the rest of the instructors there. They are all super fabulous and I wish my body looked a little more like theirs - it's obvious that a body is NOT what brings in the peeps. It's about heart, energy, smile and attitude. No doubt.
4) Paid off both cars now. BIG Dave Ramsey advocate. Have faltered slightly in the last few months - boat purchase, previously mentioned vacation purchase - however - no car payments!! :)
5) Mom is doing fabulous. Cancer free - getting checked every 3 months! Love living in every moment.
6) The kiddos are awesome. My heart for them grows bigger and bigger every day.
7) Considering buying a home here in Olympia. However - Lyndon is not done with school and I don't want to work here at the State forever. BUT I love my Zumba/Valley job so not sure I can ever give that up. I could - but it's not the right time yet. Maybe once he finishes school, we could find something else. But really....we have great people here.
Nothing else to share. Will get back to posting some more pictures soon. Maybe after the vaca??
Love to anyone to still checks in on us. I will talk about Isaac and his progress/where he's at soon. I honestly don't love to talk about it much anymore. Causes too much anxiety.
XO
Rebecca
1) Leaving Friday - on a jet plane - New Orleans/Jamaica/Grand Cayman/Mexico. Jealous? After this crazy Washington weather - ready for some sun!!!
2) Still working too much. 40 hours for the state - and my beloved Zumba job.
3) 2011 #1 instructor at the Valley Athletic Club = moi. Hello!!! Very proud - and surprised because I'm not a hard body like the rest of the instructors there. They are all super fabulous and I wish my body looked a little more like theirs - it's obvious that a body is NOT what brings in the peeps. It's about heart, energy, smile and attitude. No doubt.
4) Paid off both cars now. BIG Dave Ramsey advocate. Have faltered slightly in the last few months - boat purchase, previously mentioned vacation purchase - however - no car payments!! :)
5) Mom is doing fabulous. Cancer free - getting checked every 3 months! Love living in every moment.
6) The kiddos are awesome. My heart for them grows bigger and bigger every day.
7) Considering buying a home here in Olympia. However - Lyndon is not done with school and I don't want to work here at the State forever. BUT I love my Zumba/Valley job so not sure I can ever give that up. I could - but it's not the right time yet. Maybe once he finishes school, we could find something else. But really....we have great people here.
Nothing else to share. Will get back to posting some more pictures soon. Maybe after the vaca??
Love to anyone to still checks in on us. I will talk about Isaac and his progress/where he's at soon. I honestly don't love to talk about it much anymore. Causes too much anxiety.
XO
Rebecca
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
One of my biggest fears
Today (and for awhile now) I keep thinking I may be making decisions in my life that I later will regret. Random thought, I know....although not totally random. Check out this link where a nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed.
Job, location, time with kids..... realizing money isn't the most important think but it sure makes things more manageable. I know pretty soon I'm going to have to make a big step towards happiness.
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my family, my marriage, etc. We are happy and healthy. That by far is the most important thing. I'm talking about the outside extremeties of that......I want it all.
Blogging at work (from my iPhone) is probably not a great way to spend my time but just had to get it out there! I think I might need a Life Coach. Isn't that what people do these days?? Or some might suggest I find my way back to church. . . .
Job, location, time with kids..... realizing money isn't the most important think but it sure makes things more manageable. I know pretty soon I'm going to have to make a big step towards happiness.
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my family, my marriage, etc. We are happy and healthy. That by far is the most important thing. I'm talking about the outside extremeties of that......I want it all.
Blogging at work (from my iPhone) is probably not a great way to spend my time but just had to get it out there! I think I might need a Life Coach. Isn't that what people do these days?? Or some might suggest I find my way back to church. . . .
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Vacation Countdown!
We are on the short countdown to our first vacation in a VERY long time! Since we moved back to Washington, we have taken a day here or there but most of our vacation/leave time has been consumed by Isaac's accident and surgery. Finally we have accumulated enough to take some much needed R&R. Our family and my parents are headed to Lake Chelan for a week. Can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this. Hoping it renews and refreshes my spirit and my love for Washington. We are bringing the boat, the tubes and the fishing poles! I promise there will be pictures!!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Good News about my mom!
Yesterday my mom was tested - first time since her breast cancer diagnosis back in September. All tests came out clear. She and I had dinner downtown last night and she ordered a celebratory dry martini. Her first drink since September!
So for another three months, we can breathe easily!
So for another three months, we can breathe easily!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Restless
That's it - I confess. I'm completely restless! For six years, I couldn't wait to find a home base and settle down. Well here we are, here we have the capability of settling down, making the Pacific NW our permanent home but now all I can think about is the next adventure.
In a way I'm disappointed in myself that I just can't be happy where I am, but then I'm happy that I have dreams and set my sights on bigger things. I'm thankful my family (mom and dad) gave me both roots and wings. There is a huge world out there and I have loved experiencing so much of it so far. Just not sure I'm quite done yet.
I definitely miss the south - mostly the weather. We were so active there. And I do miss my stay-at-home mom roll just a little bit as well. Are there greener pastures elsewhere?
So stay tuned. I'm getting antsy.
In a way I'm disappointed in myself that I just can't be happy where I am, but then I'm happy that I have dreams and set my sights on bigger things. I'm thankful my family (mom and dad) gave me both roots and wings. There is a huge world out there and I have loved experiencing so much of it so far. Just not sure I'm quite done yet.
I definitely miss the south - mostly the weather. We were so active there. And I do miss my stay-at-home mom roll just a little bit as well. Are there greener pastures elsewhere?
So stay tuned. I'm getting antsy.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Return of the Blog?
Hmmmmmm. The blog. One of those things that I wish I had more time for because anyone who knows me knows I love to talk and share my opinion on a bunch of random things.
It's Friday morning and I've taken a few hours off work this morning to prepare for our Memorial Day camping trip. Don't you think I'm making a great use of this extra time? Not.
Time. Something I think about quite a bit these days. I don't have a lot of it. Well I guess I have as much as the rest of you but my time is spent 9 hours a day at a job where I where my hat as an accountant, I somehow fit in a workout during most days and the rest of the time I spend with my family and sometimes my friends. It doesn't seem like a lot but it really is. Which is why I am constantly pondering what I can do to get and give more time to my family and something more meaningful in my eyes. A stay-at-home full-time mom? Not really ideal for me. But a home-based business? A part-time job? Something along those lines - I know it will eventually come up. So I just keep waking up and trying to make the most of each and every day. I've at least learned in the past couple of years to do that much!
One of my other hats is my part-time job as a Zumba instructor at the Tumwater Valley Athletic Club. Filling a huge passion of mine. Helping and instructing others. Plus I get paid to work out. Not bad and my classes have been pretty darn packed and successful this year!
Ten random thoughts from me this morning:
1. If I could take the summer off, I would spend 2 weeks in Maine and 2 weeks in North Carolina. Home to some wonderful friends.
2. Sometimes I regret moving back to the Pacific NW. Remember those awesome beach blogs from about three years ago? Ya, me too. Just wish I could have moved my people to me - I do love seeing family and friends much more. BUT - I miss sun, hot and warm beaches.
3. I'm really happy I don't live in a state where tornadoes occur. However, earthquakes scare me just as much. If not more. No warnings.
4. Sometimes who I want to be is different from who I really am. Accepting that can be hard.
5. Women who don't find value in maintaining close friendships with other women frighten me. I stay away from them.
6. Our lives have been much improved by taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University course. Normal is broke people!!
7. I really want to move into a different house. Where, I don't know. But I want a master bath and a nice kitchen with a pantry. On a cul-de-sac. And a bigger yard. Hot tub would be a bonus!
I'm going to end with seven. That's all I really have time for.
Til next time......and I hope it's less than three months before I find/make the time!
It's Friday morning and I've taken a few hours off work this morning to prepare for our Memorial Day camping trip. Don't you think I'm making a great use of this extra time? Not.
Time. Something I think about quite a bit these days. I don't have a lot of it. Well I guess I have as much as the rest of you but my time is spent 9 hours a day at a job where I where my hat as an accountant, I somehow fit in a workout during most days and the rest of the time I spend with my family and sometimes my friends. It doesn't seem like a lot but it really is. Which is why I am constantly pondering what I can do to get and give more time to my family and something more meaningful in my eyes. A stay-at-home full-time mom? Not really ideal for me. But a home-based business? A part-time job? Something along those lines - I know it will eventually come up. So I just keep waking up and trying to make the most of each and every day. I've at least learned in the past couple of years to do that much!
One of my other hats is my part-time job as a Zumba instructor at the Tumwater Valley Athletic Club. Filling a huge passion of mine. Helping and instructing others. Plus I get paid to work out. Not bad and my classes have been pretty darn packed and successful this year!
Ten random thoughts from me this morning:
1. If I could take the summer off, I would spend 2 weeks in Maine and 2 weeks in North Carolina. Home to some wonderful friends.
2. Sometimes I regret moving back to the Pacific NW. Remember those awesome beach blogs from about three years ago? Ya, me too. Just wish I could have moved my people to me - I do love seeing family and friends much more. BUT - I miss sun, hot and warm beaches.
3. I'm really happy I don't live in a state where tornadoes occur. However, earthquakes scare me just as much. If not more. No warnings.
4. Sometimes who I want to be is different from who I really am. Accepting that can be hard.
5. Women who don't find value in maintaining close friendships with other women frighten me. I stay away from them.
6. Our lives have been much improved by taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University course. Normal is broke people!!
7. I really want to move into a different house. Where, I don't know. But I want a master bath and a nice kitchen with a pantry. On a cul-de-sac. And a bigger yard. Hot tub would be a bonus!
I'm going to end with seven. That's all I really have time for.
Til next time......and I hope it's less than three months before I find/make the time!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
KOMO News' Kathi Goertzen
It's been a long time since I posted two days in a row!!! Check out this story about local news anchor Kathi Goertzen. I honestly must say my heart sank when I heard parts of her story. She seems ashamed of her face. Granted her career is to be in front of people and share her face with others.....but she says there are days she doesn't want to get out of bed. It makes me nervous about the feelings that Isaac may have in the future.
I personally still think she's beautiful - for pete's sake we grew up with her!!
http://www.komonews.com/news/local/115068939.html
I personally still think she's beautiful - for pete's sake we grew up with her!!
http://www.komonews.com/news/local/115068939.html
Monday, January 31, 2011
Upcoming Chemo
How is it that these next three chemotherapy sessions for my mom work out like this:
January 31st (today) - Justin's Birthday
February 14th - Valentine's Day
February 28th - Mom and Dad's Anniversary
And of course her very first chemo treatment was on my birthday, December 6th. No fair!
Thanks for keeping my mom and our family in your thoughts and prayers.
January 31st (today) - Justin's Birthday
February 14th - Valentine's Day
February 28th - Mom and Dad's Anniversary
And of course her very first chemo treatment was on my birthday, December 6th. No fair!
Thanks for keeping my mom and our family in your thoughts and prayers.
Friday, January 21, 2011
My 2011 New Years Prayer
Dear God,
For 2011, I pray for a fat bank account and a skinny body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year.
Amen.
For 2011, I pray for a fat bank account and a skinny body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year.
Amen.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Merry Christmas
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!!!
I'm probably writing to a blank audience since it's been so long! However, I'll give you a quick update regardless.
First, my mom. She had had a mastectomy and her lymph nodes removed. She had her first round of chemotherapy on December 6th, had her second one on December 20th and is doing OK! She usually gets to feeling pretty crummy about 24 hours after the chemo and it lasts for about another 48 hours. It's pretty weird to see her not at 100% - but we definitely feel she's handling it better than some.
As for other things, Lyndon started a new job this past Monday. He left his position at as a Quality Assurance Lab Tech for an aviation company to go to work for the FAA as a Management and Program Analyst the Air Traffic Organization. It is such a wonderful opportunity for him and he gets back his 11 years he had while in the Navy! We are so very thankful this has happened! He still has the dreaded commute up to Renton but it is working for now!
I ran my first 1/2 marathon on my 34th Birthday! That was hard!!! I trained for it since about mid-September and probably could've used a little more training but I finished and was pleased that I did it!
I took a break from teaching Zumba when I found out about my mom - and am glad I did. It gave me one thing less to worry about so I could focus strictly on family outside of my day job. I am starting another class though in January and am looking forward to it.....I've missed it!
The kids are doing great. Sydney is doing wonderfully during her first year of Kindergarten. She is in the beginning stages of reading and just loves recess. So would I! She really enjoys her friends and the rings....
Isaac is quite the little man at daycare. He always gives every single classmate a hug before he leaves. What a love.
We are looking forward to a New Year for sure! By the end of December, we've had our fill of food and parties and are ready for a slower January!
I'm probably writing to a blank audience since it's been so long! However, I'll give you a quick update regardless.
First, my mom. She had had a mastectomy and her lymph nodes removed. She had her first round of chemotherapy on December 6th, had her second one on December 20th and is doing OK! She usually gets to feeling pretty crummy about 24 hours after the chemo and it lasts for about another 48 hours. It's pretty weird to see her not at 100% - but we definitely feel she's handling it better than some.
As for other things, Lyndon started a new job this past Monday. He left his position at as a Quality Assurance Lab Tech for an aviation company to go to work for the FAA as a Management and Program Analyst the Air Traffic Organization. It is such a wonderful opportunity for him and he gets back his 11 years he had while in the Navy! We are so very thankful this has happened! He still has the dreaded commute up to Renton but it is working for now!
I ran my first 1/2 marathon on my 34th Birthday! That was hard!!! I trained for it since about mid-September and probably could've used a little more training but I finished and was pleased that I did it!
I took a break from teaching Zumba when I found out about my mom - and am glad I did. It gave me one thing less to worry about so I could focus strictly on family outside of my day job. I am starting another class though in January and am looking forward to it.....I've missed it!
The kids are doing great. Sydney is doing wonderfully during her first year of Kindergarten. She is in the beginning stages of reading and just loves recess. So would I! She really enjoys her friends and the rings....
Isaac is quite the little man at daycare. He always gives every single classmate a hug before he leaves. What a love.
We are looking forward to a New Year for sure! By the end of December, we've had our fill of food and parties and are ready for a slower January!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Surgery Wednesday and more.....
Update on Mom:
Wednesday Mom is having a second surgery. This time to remove her lymph nodes. It will be an outpatient surgery but we're told this one could be a more difficult recovery - the pain under her arm and then the concern of lymphedema which can be managed. On Thursday she had a bone scan and on Friday, a PET scan. We learned early yesterday that the PET scan showed her organs looked good. YEAH! We were very concerned that because the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes, it could have possibly spread to her organs. We have yet to receive the results of the bone scan. Keep sending the positive thoughts and prayers!
About three weeks after surgery, she will start chemo. For two months she will have Adriamycin and Cytoxan (AC) - which is very strong. The doctor told her it is during this time she should expect to lose her hair. After the AC, she'll move to Taxol for three months.
We are not sure what to expect as all patients respond differently to the treatments so we are just going to wait and see. However we are encouraged knowing how healthy and strong my mom is. She will get through this and it will be a good feeling when she is actually actively fighting this disease.
In other news.....my dear cousin Kari, lost her husband Mark this morning suddenly. He was just 46 and together they have a daughter, Chandler. Please keep them in your prayers. We stopped and saw them this afternoon and as Kari said, it just seems so surreal.
Our lives: We are spending as much time with mom as possible these days. The 1.5 hour drive between is really hard - I would prefer to see her daily. When I see her, laughing, enjoying the kids, playing with them, living a relatively normal life, it's really reassuring.
Sydney is in full swing at Kindergarten. She loves her teacher, is making friends and recently lost her first tooth! We are so proud of her as she is such a sharp girl who is starting to learn to read. We just love building these awesome family memories.
Isaac had an appointment a couple of weeks ago and he is doing very well. His face is looking better and better. Although his smile is not being lifted by his cheek, it is very obvious the surgery has worked as when he smiles, there are dimples all around his mouth. There is noticeably more tone on the left side of his face so it's more symmetrical - it had really been drooping much more before all of this.
One of his doctors talked about a procedure we may want to consider in the future for him. It is a bone anchored hearing aid. It would require two surgeries but would restore the hearing in his left ear. However it's not quite your normal hearing aid, it would be a small box placed a bit behind his ear. Here's a picture.......
Hoping they come up with something else in the next few years!!! The FDA hasn't approved this surgery until a patient is 5 so we have a couple of years. In the meantime, Isaac's hearing loss causes him to scream practically everything. Although we think that could be coupled with the fact that he's a very active 3 year old boy!
We are enjoying the season. Fall is my favorite. I love fall decorating, pumpkin smelling candles and crisp, cool days!
Wednesday Mom is having a second surgery. This time to remove her lymph nodes. It will be an outpatient surgery but we're told this one could be a more difficult recovery - the pain under her arm and then the concern of lymphedema which can be managed. On Thursday she had a bone scan and on Friday, a PET scan. We learned early yesterday that the PET scan showed her organs looked good. YEAH! We were very concerned that because the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes, it could have possibly spread to her organs. We have yet to receive the results of the bone scan. Keep sending the positive thoughts and prayers!
About three weeks after surgery, she will start chemo. For two months she will have Adriamycin and Cytoxan (AC) - which is very strong. The doctor told her it is during this time she should expect to lose her hair. After the AC, she'll move to Taxol for three months.
We are not sure what to expect as all patients respond differently to the treatments so we are just going to wait and see. However we are encouraged knowing how healthy and strong my mom is. She will get through this and it will be a good feeling when she is actually actively fighting this disease.
In other news.....my dear cousin Kari, lost her husband Mark this morning suddenly. He was just 46 and together they have a daughter, Chandler. Please keep them in your prayers. We stopped and saw them this afternoon and as Kari said, it just seems so surreal.
Our lives: We are spending as much time with mom as possible these days. The 1.5 hour drive between is really hard - I would prefer to see her daily. When I see her, laughing, enjoying the kids, playing with them, living a relatively normal life, it's really reassuring.
Sydney is in full swing at Kindergarten. She loves her teacher, is making friends and recently lost her first tooth! We are so proud of her as she is such a sharp girl who is starting to learn to read. We just love building these awesome family memories.
Isaac had an appointment a couple of weeks ago and he is doing very well. His face is looking better and better. Although his smile is not being lifted by his cheek, it is very obvious the surgery has worked as when he smiles, there are dimples all around his mouth. There is noticeably more tone on the left side of his face so it's more symmetrical - it had really been drooping much more before all of this.
One of his doctors talked about a procedure we may want to consider in the future for him. It is a bone anchored hearing aid. It would require two surgeries but would restore the hearing in his left ear. However it's not quite your normal hearing aid, it would be a small box placed a bit behind his ear. Here's a picture.......
Hoping they come up with something else in the next few years!!! The FDA hasn't approved this surgery until a patient is 5 so we have a couple of years. In the meantime, Isaac's hearing loss causes him to scream practically everything. Although we think that could be coupled with the fact that he's a very active 3 year old boy!
We are enjoying the season. Fall is my favorite. I love fall decorating, pumpkin smelling candles and crisp, cool days!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Update
Mom's surgery went well on Tuesday. They started about 7:30 a.m. and were done about 10:30 a.m. My dad was waiting and the doctor came out and told him that the sentinel node they biopsied did not show the tumor had metastasized. Great news! The sentinel nodes are where the first place the cancer would go when it starts to spread. He did say that there was one more final pathology report that would be more in depth that they needed to see the results of but that things were looking good at that point.
Unfortunately the final pathology report came back and showed that the cancer has spread to 2 of the 3 sentinel nodes. This is not good news. What this means is mom needs to have a second surgery - preliminarily the doctor thought the week of October 11th. He'll be removing her lymph nodes in her armpit. We understand this to be a much more painful surgery than the mastectomy - but it has to be done.
We are also possibly expecting that they will be doing a pet scan to see if and where the cancer has spread in her body. It is possible it's just made it to the nodes and hasn't metastasized to any other organs. That is our hope.
This roller coaster ride of news we've been riding is really horrible. The peaks and valleys bring such emotion it's really hard. We are clinging to good news and feel abused by the bad. So today is a bad day as we just were told yesterday afternoon by my mom that the news has turned south again. It's just rotten. But we have to remain hopeful - and people beat this! My mom is incredibly strong and if anyone can fight like hell, she can.
My aunt Kathie (her sister) flew out from NYC on Tuesday and is staying until Sunday October 10th so it's nice my mom has her company, help and support. Please keep my mom and our family in your thoughts and prayers!
Unfortunately the final pathology report came back and showed that the cancer has spread to 2 of the 3 sentinel nodes. This is not good news. What this means is mom needs to have a second surgery - preliminarily the doctor thought the week of October 11th. He'll be removing her lymph nodes in her armpit. We understand this to be a much more painful surgery than the mastectomy - but it has to be done.
We are also possibly expecting that they will be doing a pet scan to see if and where the cancer has spread in her body. It is possible it's just made it to the nodes and hasn't metastasized to any other organs. That is our hope.
This roller coaster ride of news we've been riding is really horrible. The peaks and valleys bring such emotion it's really hard. We are clinging to good news and feel abused by the bad. So today is a bad day as we just were told yesterday afternoon by my mom that the news has turned south again. It's just rotten. But we have to remain hopeful - and people beat this! My mom is incredibly strong and if anyone can fight like hell, she can.
My aunt Kathie (her sister) flew out from NYC on Tuesday and is staying until Sunday October 10th so it's nice my mom has her company, help and support. Please keep my mom and our family in your thoughts and prayers!
Monday, September 27, 2010
My Mom
Please keep my mom, Gretchen, in your prayers. She has been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer and is undergoing a mastectomy tomorrow. We have known for a couple of weeks now. She has not been told what stage she is at - they are waiting to get in and look around some more. It appears the tumor is small. The other crucial piece is doctors are still unsure as to if it has or hasn't metastasized. More to come but our family is definitely in need of prayers and support.
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