My mom was with us, I could feel it. But I sure missed talking to her and doing what has been our normal routine these past few years. Justin and I planned the meal, incorporating some of my mom's favorite dishes. Lyndon and I did the cooking and my dad and Justin played with the kids (Christmas Eve). Christmas day we were joined by Lyndon's parents and Justin's girlfriend came as well - so a little more conversation but there was just an overall feeling of sadness I felt. I could have laid in bed all day and skipped this year - but we have to keep going. I get it.
I missed her most on Christmas morning. She was always up early with the kids and she just loved to talk, and chat and play. It was extra quiet this year - even with my three little ones. She always brought this happiness and made the work in the kitchen and around the house fun because we'd just chat our way through it.
Contrary to my nightmare the other night, I didn't totally botch her Cranberry Cake (best dessert EVER).
I do want to say that my Dad has been a total rockstar Grandpa and has really stepped up to the plate as far as things my mom used to do - and that they used to do together. This fall he came to almost every single one of Sydney's volleyball games. He comes down almost every weekend and just hangs out with us, we go to the game, have a meal, watch the Seahawks play or whatever. He even rescued me one day when I had an important meeting and Sydney was sick. He drove all the way down here and stayed with her while I went in to work. He's pretty fantastic. We love him so much and my mom's love for him was amazing to say the least.
I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas celebrations. I know this first one with her gone was probably the hardest for us and I trust they will get easier with time.
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